said @ work

"Oh, is paraphrasing the new office term for making shit up."

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 17:30:49 -0500

“Oh, is paraphrasing the new office term for making shit up.”

"Who took the last paper bowl?! It’s kind of hard to eat cereal from a plate!"

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 12:03:10 -0500

“Who took the last paper bowl?! It’s kind of hard to eat cereal from a plate!”

"They are a pack of ravenous hyenas who play minesweeper."

Wed, 06 Jan 2010 11:02:00 -0500

“They are a pack of ravenous hyenas who play minesweeper.”

"I still think you’re lame but I can at least be friends w/ you on Facebook."

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 12:21:32 -0400

“I still think you’re lame but I can at least be friends w/ you on Facebook.”

"I lost all respect for that guy when I heard his wife made him abuse the free lunch program before..."

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:32:46 -0400

“I lost all respect for that guy when I heard his wife made him abuse the free lunch program before he could buy an iPod.”

"It’s an open door policy sort of place, and we all tend to use speakerphone as a default. My..."

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 14:48:26 -0400

“It’s an open door policy sort of place, and we all tend to use speakerphone as a default. My secretary curses like a sailor.”

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Fri, 09 Oct 2009 14:21:17 -0400

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1. send an email to jobfodder@gmail.com

2. include the quote. no need to preface it. attach a photo from your office w/o faces to protect the identity of others.

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4. see your post the following work week.

"The only way these folks can convince me to be Kanye for Halloween at the office is if they pay for..."

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 16:31:00 -0400

“The only way these folks can convince me to be Kanye for Halloween at the office is if they pay for two haircuts: the first cut to make my scalp look like a Keith Haring and the second cut to shave my head bald.”

"I really don’t like racism… really."

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 10:50:00 -0400

“I really don’t like racism… really.”

"I only roll once."

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 17:30:00 -0400

“I only roll once.”

"I almost bought a thong for my daughter that reads: Mind the gap!"

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 10:42:00 -0400

“I almost bought a thong for my daughter that reads: Mind the gap!”

"I hate running into the building security lady—once she caught me sleeping in my car at 1pm."

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:28:00 -0400

“I hate running into the building security lady—once she caught me sleeping in my car at 1pm.”

"I used to hate chicken pot pie growing up. It was always perceived as an inferior dish in my..."

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 10:56:00 -0400

“I used to hate chicken pot pie growing up. It was always perceived as an inferior dish in my household—a re-hash of something cooked the night before, using the leftover chicken to make something new. I avoided that and also the chicken tetrazini my mother would make on those nights after we ate fried chicken. Ugh, no thanks.”

"It [Kanye’s ego] just ruined the whole feel. OMG it was so horrible."

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 17:19:44 -0400

“It [Kanye’s ego] just ruined the whole feel. OMG it was so horrible.”

"He [Kanye] doesn’t have any respect for the VMA process"

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 17:18:00 -0400

“He [Kanye] doesn’t have any respect for the VMA process”

"The black guy on my committee told me I looked like Chaka Khan’s daughter. I could have kicked..."

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 19:27:00 -0400

“The black guy on my committee told me I looked like Chaka Khan’s daughter. I could have kicked his whole ass.”

"Don’t go to that dinner party, they’ll make you take off your shoes, dance on the table..."

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 12:28:00 -0400

“Don’t go to that dinner party, they’ll make you take off your shoes, dance on the table and take pictures.”

"If I get laid off, I’m growing a fucking mohawk."

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 09:59:00 -0400

“If I get laid off, I’m growing a fucking mohawk.”

"I hate stats but this is actually worth looking at…."

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 13:20:00 -0400

“I hate stats but this is actually worth looking at….”

"Interns always mess things up. It’s what they do, which is why we don’t depend on them."

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 20:17:00 -0400

“Interns always mess things up. It’s what they do, which is why we don’t depend on them.”